Because of the response I received from last Sunday’s sermon, I thought I would relay some of what I said on the difficult topic of divorce.  It is no understatement to say, our world has become fragile.  Political and pandemic pressures have made relationships fragile and this is no exception within the local church.  Outside pressures become a catalyst for inside pressures.  As the great theologian and former defensive lineman, Warren Sap, once said, “Pressure causes the pipes to break!” 

The area of concern with the world we live in is marriage!  Marriages within the local church.  Christian marriages.  Chances are you have been impacted directly or indirectly by a divorce.  As a spouse or child or friend.  The subject of divorce is always sensitive and always an extreme hardship, no matter the circumstances that brought it about. 

I bring this subject up humbly, recognizing the deep pain caused by just talking about it.  Out of all Jesus could have addressed in his Sermon on the Mount, he addressed this issue and I think because of the pervasive impact it was having within the culture then.  And sadly, this is no different today. 

Whether or not our secular world paints divorce as a necessary means to an end; what is done efficiently and effectively for some greater good, it is always hard.  Always.  Christians in the church should take a sympathetic posture to people who have been impacted by divorce, whether you are someone who has been divorced, parents of children who have been divorced, children of parents who have been divorce, it always hurts deeply and leaves real scars.  With this in view read Jesus’ brief two verses on divorce from his Sermon on the Mount.

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matt 5:31-32) 

These verses unearth how culture attempts to make divorce easy when divorce is hard.  The errant Rabbis of Jesus’ day gave the “all clear” for people to divorce for any reason at all.  With a simple reference and twisting of Moses’ Law, Deuteronomy 24:1, they created a simple three step process. 

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, (Deut 24:1)

According to the rabbis, by twisting Moses’ intent, easy divorce had been made simple by God.    Step one, of the husband, “she finds no favor in his eyes.”  Step two, “he has found some indecency in her (a sexual indecency).”  Step three, “he writes her a certificate of divorce…puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house.”  Following these 3 steps puts you are in the clear.  More than clear; you are right with God.   

We know better.  The hardships and fallout from any divorce are inestimably difficult and scaring.  Society attempts to mask this to its own detriment.  Worse yet, society creeps inside the church with this same falsehood.  To find hope in hardship, we need to face matters surrounding divorce head on with Scripture.   

I read an advertisement titled, Affordable Divorce Solutions. 

Divorce online is fast and easy.  It is a premier affordable divorce service center.  Our simple and inexpensive process will enable you to complete your divorce documents from the comfort of your home, without incurring the cost of an attorney, or dealing with lengthy completion and delivery periods.  The total cost is $249.00.  This company does not provide blank forms or divorce kits.  You will receive complete documents, explanations and instructions.  The documents are customized to the state or province you live in, you children, your income, you assets and other factors in your case.  3StepDivorce is an easy divorce solution.  “Do it yourself without a lawyer.” 

These options exist because the “easy divorce” mindset is in vogue.  Still, even the world cannot suppress the pain inherit in divorce. 

On a website called divorcing secrets proves this point. 

To understand why divorce hurts so much it’s important to consider how you arrived at your current situation.  I don’t mean the fights that ultimately forced you to make the decision that continuing was too hard.  Rather I mean consider the thoughts that went into your finally deciding to marry.

Remember when you first met your ex?  This was the first person you thought complimented you, completed you.  Who knew you, trusted and accepted you.  Someone that would watch you grow old.  Give birth to your children and work together to raise them into adults.  When you got engaged…people congratulated you…as if you had been nominated to the special club called “marriage.”  Everyone was happy for you and there was a public ceremony. 

Reality check, now here you are and suddenly your world is falling apart.  You can’t assemble a coherent thought without thinking about your ex.  You question your ability to make decisions and wonder what if your life with your ex was a lie and what was real. 

This is not like a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend…this is a leap of faith into the future.  Marriage is supposed to announce…here is my partner who will protect me, comfort me, stand by me from anyone who dare to intrude into our partnership.

Divorce is a public statement, and it hurts because of its suddenness.  Courtship often takes, weeks, months, years…But breakups happen quickly…The abrupt nature of the marriage ending leaves little time for you to get used to the idea…the person you expected to share the rest of your life with is gone. 

Divorce no matter the circumstances or fault is always hard.  Extremely hard.  Believers experience another dimension of pain because sin was involved.  Whether you are at fault or not, there is always hurt from the fallout felt by sins committed. 

The Bible says, “Hope differed makes the heart sick.”  Dreams are dashed and family members hurt.  When the divorce is done without grounds, an unbiblical divorce will breed guilt.  So, again, the solution to heal is simply facing all scenarios surrounding divorce by understanding God’s clear teaching from Scripture.  This is the is the path toward healing.  Grace to get through divorce by taking Scripture at face value; allowing the Bible to speak to your specific life scenario.  

Suffice it to say, I am not going to take time to unpack when and how Scripture makes divorce allowable.  Though divorce is never commanded in Scripture and is never the ideal path, divorce as a last resort can become necessary and even a mercy.  To dig deeply into the issues I recommend what I think is the best treatment on the topic:  The divorce dilemma by John MacArthur.  This brief book says a lot with an economy of words. 

Take-Home Points:

1. The Gospel offers hope for marriage, no matter its present state.
2. The Gospel offers hope to you if you have been divorced.
   1. For biblical divorces
   2. For unbiblical divorces
3. The Gospel offers power to take your wedding vows seriously.
4. The Gospel offers power to be single.
   1. You are married to Christ.
   2. You are freed to minister.
   3. You are reminded to approach marriage with sobriety.
5. The Gospel offers power to minister to others impacted by divorce.
   1. Whether you have been through a divorce
   2. Whether you have been impacted by divorce
   3. Whether you know someone impacted by divorce