One of the most dramatic portrayals of reconciliation from all of Scripture is when Jacob reconciles with his brother Esau.  If you know their story, then you know a whole lot of damage was done to break their relationship.  I can say with complete confidence that like me; you have suffered the loss of a broken relationship.  Perhaps you are praying even today for God to mend a severed friendship into being whole again.  How broken were Jacob and Esau?  Well, just read one of the most dramatic statements in Scripture about two people: “As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated” (Rom. 9:13).

I want to say upfront that this statement must be understood in the context of God’s will for his chosen people.  God blessing one family lineage and not the other.  This by no means is double predestination but instead a pronouncement based on a line of believers; Abraham through Sarah to David to Jesus verses Abraham through Hagar to Ishmael and so it goes.  If you know the story, Esau, the firstborn, was in line to be blessed as the family of faith but instead was put under God’s curse. 

A spiritual and relational chasm on this scale was created by sin-drenched circumstances makes for one of the most beautiful stories of restoration in all of Scripture (I recognize Joseph restored to his brothers is a close rival, i.e. Gen. 50:20).

The full story is found in Genesis 25-33; two brothers broken and restored.  To get the full effect, read this for yourself but for now, allow me to give you some highlights.  Jacob and Esau’s parents were Isaac and Rebekah.  These boys, their offspring were fraternal twins.  Isaac loved Esau, a hunter and Rebekah loved Jacob who was more of a homebody and family chief.  Dad and Mom’s favoritism lead to all sorts of family problems and I believe set the context for Jacob (the “cheater”) to manipulate Esau out of his birthright.  Remember, a birthright in those days was tantamount to possessing the rights to the family estate.  In modern terms, the firstborn owning a birthright was like the role of an executor of the family will whereby he or she owns all of the parent’s inheritance.  Genesis 25 tells the story of Esau coming in from his hunt, famished to the point of death where Jacob says, “I’ll feed you, if you swear over your rights to the estate” (your birthright!).  Esau, starving to death, does so under Jacob’s manipulation.

Later, Jacob’s mother, Rebekah seized the opportunity to manipulate her husband Isaac to give his spiritual blessing to Jacob not Esau.  By this time, Isaac is blind (cf. Gen. 27:1ff.) making him vulnerable to being deceived.  Rebekah convinces her favored son to go along with her scheme, dressing him up in animal skins.  Jacob approaches his aged father for this pronouncement of blessing, by bringing his dad “delicious food”; what I Isaac had requested of Esau before.  Isaac recognizes Jacob’s voice but succumbs to his own lust for food and thereby deceives himself into thinking this is really Esau.  I mean, “The young man’s arms feel hairy, so surely this is Esau.”  In Isaac’s blind and weakened state, he compromises and pronounces a prophetic spiritual blessing on the wrong son.  Mind you this is irrevocable.    

So, let us review what Esau lost.  Rights to all the family wealth and to a blessed life for the future.  Not to mention, broken trust with his twin brother, mother, and the one person who truly loved him, his father.  Genesis 27:41 says, “Now Esau hated Jacob…”  The mom, Rebekah, catches wind of this and sends Jacob away, to flee for his life.  Mom is guilt ridden and Jacob is sent to her brother Laban, who incidentally is pagan with a pagan family.  Twenty years pass before Jacob meets back up with Esau (cf. Gen. 31:14).  During this time, we know Jacob will work for and married two wives, Leah and Rachel and stick around for six more years.  All this  leads to Jacob’s providential reunion with his brother. 

To fully engage this event, you need to read Genesis 32, but allow me to cover a few highlights.  First off, Jacob is terrified of Esau.  This is understandable seeing that he had stolen property that was rightfully his and on top of that, he stole God’s blessing for Esau’s life.  Experience teaches that when someone manipulates money away from a family member, things to not go very well! 

I must be quick to also mention, that second, Jacob goes to God with his fears!  He prays an amazing Old Testament Gospel prayer for help.

I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.'” (Gen 32:10-12)

Jacob affirms God’s grace (in this case, “steadfast love” which in this context means God’s covenant faithfulness) for his life.  Jacob knows God has been with him even though he has sinned so much and so Jacob doubles down on God’s commitment to keep his offspring alive!  By the way, this is the kind of prayer we should pray when facing near impossible circumstances surrounding reconciliation!  What is amazing is that God answers this prayer by preparing Esau’s heart to forgive his brother.  We never know how our Lord is working behind the scenes softening hearts for things to be made right again. 

John Calvin says that “Esau meets his brother with unexpected benevolence and kindness…the effect of the special favor of God.” 

Genesis 33 tells us Jacob saw Esau was coming with his 400 men but instead of cowering in dread, knowing Esau could kill everyone, Jacob humbled himself in weakness.  He approached his brother by bowing seven consecutive times, “until he came near to his brother [Esau]” (Gen. 33:3).  By contrast, Esau responds with spontaneity! 

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Then the servants drew near, they and their children, and bowed down. (Gen 33:4-6)

Neither the birthright nor blessing could be restored but their relationship could.  If this relationship can be restored, then anyone’s relationship can be restored.  I am not certain Esau was not still a pagan at this point, but at least in his lifetime things were made right with his brother.  Their story ended with forgiveness which is a clear picture of God’s grace.  You too should seek the same!